cinnamon dew

seared by the sun of youth
you drop your diamonds on the floor
and gather them up at twilight

longing fills your hat
but soaks up the rain,
rips cataclysmic

pearls scatter
when you tear the necklace off
Venus’ throat

you hoard a pearl
in your pocket;
gaze at midnight

green turns brown, spins
days to years, as you toil
to find your pulse

until a cinnamon dew
is birthed anew
on the blade of the morn

***

(Submitting for Open Link Night Week 2 at d’Verse Pub; I submitted this poem for Crit Friday and made some changes, thanks for the excellent suggestions)
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18 Responses to cinnamon dew

  1. A very pretty poem. I liked the three line stanzas as well.

  2. brian says:

    wow…you did well with the crit you were given…love the progression of this from diamond to pearl and the blade of the moon…very nice…

  3. Pat Hatt says:

    Really tell a little progressive story with this piece. Enjoyed it alot, wonderfully done!

  4. Filled with vivid pictures here, lovely prose.

  5. A lovely read, thank you!

  6. beautiful poem! very creative as well.

  7. Heaven says:

    lovely words specially these:

    pearls scatter
    when you tear the necklace off
    Venus’ throat

  8. tashtoo says:

    I’m with Heaven on this one…she picked my favorite verse! The poem is beautiful in its entirety, but those three lines, I thought we perfection! Way to survive crit! It’s produced a winner 🙂

  9. Kelvin S. M. says:

    …a poem at its best.. your starting is great as well as your path t’wards the end… how alluringly weaved.. thanks for the poem!(:

  10. expatinCAT says:

    Lyrical and visceral at the same time.. // Peter.

  11. Mama Zen says:

    “as you toil
    to find your pulse”

    Beautiful.

  12. bkmackenzie says:

    hoard a pearl in your pocket…..at midnight…an image of lifting it to become the moon comes to mind here…..nice..bkm

  13. Ann Grenier says:

    Thoughtful imagery here in what I interpret as a journey through life. Diamonds to a new appreciation of the simple miracle of dewdrops in an old age stripped of its pearls …a view that pleases me … since I’ve lived it.

  14. Chris G. says:

    Always interesting to see how a work builds, as insight comes in and creativities collide…well done imagery, with potent lines, particularly: “pearls scatter
    when you tear the necklace off
    Venus’ throat”
    That line is just absolutely striking. Well done.

  15. Timoteo says:

    ooooh…aaaah…

  16. Steve E says:

    Grabbing me are those scattered pearls from Venus’ broken necklace…and of course, ‘cinnamon dew birthed anew on blade of the morn.’

    Rather exquisitely inventive, in my book…(means REALLY good!)

    Thank you for stopping at my blog.
    PEACE!

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