Flaming Wind

Endeavor, Lino Tagliapietra, Columbus Museum of Art, posted by Tess Kincaid for Magpie Tales 71

Flaming Wind

in the deep, eels
slink, slide, electrify
flying, stinging, frightening

above the eye
magical rides
school of flying carpets, reined
by weavers and knitters
of wind tails, knotted
into latticed dreams
in webs of whitened sky

on tiptoe, I reach, run, catch
a tail of the wind, flipping fast,
most miss them whizzing
past in the ordinary breeze
of day

climb on– and ride for free–
is anything really for free?
but here I am, come with me,
riding on wind-tails, like kites tied
with bows on a string, skimming
invisible air, high above darkened sea

like bridges in the air

I’ll jump from one to the next
just to see if red flies faster than blue
if close enough,
and won’t fall through

the nothingness that separates us in the sky
the distance between our held hands
if close enough we can reach
across the deep chasm below—
but don’t look down, because we’re flying
above rooftops, trees and on top
of the clouds, and if we look down,
we’re doomed to crash on the ground
and shatter the glass carpet sea

I’ll grab this one or that one,
tail of another dream
colorful flame
sit at your heels, then zoom right past,
flying through days, moving
like waves, through clouds, up and down,
zooming round moments, twirls and turns,
our laughter sets fire, a trail blazes and burns
and splits air wide open, filling the deep
with dreams dared spoken, returned
to the weaver to fill the holes, burned
by disbelief in visible wind-tossed tails

the past nips behind us, propels us
we chase the future, onward, toward the
next breath of the wind,
flame flying, tail whipping,
whispering dreams
glass carpet schemes
flying to the end of the sea

***

This poem, although it still needs work, is edited from the original, written on June 29 for Magpie Tales 71; it can be found here. Submitting it today for Crit Friday at d’Verse. Thanks for any help!

**And the update for today is because the lines ended up spaced all wrong, and needed major correction **

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4 Responses to Flaming Wind

  1. Luke Prater says:

    Sorry this didn’t get the crit you were looking for. I’ve just seen it now. You linked it up very very late – if possible please link earlier; critiquing is quite a bit more involved than the average commenting. Cheers

    (you may also find if you visit others they will visit you, though that isn’t the reason none of the critique team got here)

    • waysidewordgarden says:

      Yes, I did link this up late, didn’t quite get it edited and the poem up early enough. I’ll get it up earlier next time. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Claudia says:

    hey anna – also just seen it now… i much like the idea of the poem and the energy in it but i think it would gain compressed energy if you would pare it down.. if it were my piece i would think about the core, the essence of what i wanted to convey and then from there build the poem. i get a bit lost with the different streams of thoughts. i think i would take the flying carpet and go from there – love the idea of a flying carpet…smiles

    • waysidewordgarden says:

      Yes, I agree it should be pared down. More work to do! 🙂 This one will be in draft stage for a while… Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

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